Supporting Your Student on a Tough Night
STRUGGLES
Common unexpected behaviors
Work Refusal
Wandering away from tutor/s
Shut down/not talking/emotional
Physical and/or verbal aggression toward others
Escalating tiers of behavior
Do you know what signals that your student is escalating?
Behaviors may build and intensify with time and frequency
CONTRIBUTORS to UNEXPECTED BEHAVIORS
Non-preferred tasks
Frustration
Lack of choices/control
Unclear expectations
Embarrassment
Academic challenges
Physical factors and outside concerns
Hunger, lack of sleep, concerns at home
What happened before or is anticipated after tutoring
PERSPECTIVE and EXPERIENCE
TRIGGERS paired with perspective and experience can significantly impact the outcome of a situation
Personal tolerances vary (personal space, volume, patience, etc.)
Your student’s behavior is RARELY a reflection of you or their feelings about you
Refrain from emotional responses- NEVER GET PHYSICAL
Our policies strictly prohibit this
It breaks trust immediately
PP needs to be a SAFE place for our students
Don’t take comments and behaviors personally
Avoid threats and pleading
NEED HELP? We are here!
Don’t wait- ask PP staff for help- Bring us in before you’re at your max
Use the shared staff line 484-378-0746
TEXT US for discreet support
CALL US in an emergency
TURN THE TIDE
Power struggles: waste time, disrupt learning, add stress, and undermine relationships
What can you do instead? Consider the long-term message vs. a momentary win
Pray with/over your student
Assume a non-threatening position/tone/body language
Share your experiences: Be realistic, be authentic, be vulnerable
Pivot- it is okay to change your plan and do things differently
ALWAYS GIVE THE STUDENT AN OUT. (What could that look like? Distraction, choice, “stick a pin in it,” etc.).
Be aware of their needs/beliefs in this moment
Can you help them save face around peers?
Remind your student you are on their side/team. Don’t assume they already know or believe this.
I want to help you
Tell me what you need
RESET- Approach the situation in humility and apologize for frustrating/hurting/upsetting your student.
This is an unexpected approach
This often disarms the student and opens dialog
Listen, don’t push or criticize
6. YOU ARE EQUIPPED!
Adults have more experience, more coping skills, and fire tested strategies when it comes to working through approaching struggles
Keep in mind what seems logical to you may feel foreign to your student
Your student may be shocked that your idea/recommendation could work, because without prior experience our brains don’t recognize the reward opportunity.
God has allowed you to have this very moment with this student for a reason. Pray for God to prepare your heart and equip you in those difficult moments.
Start fresh each week. Extend grace and understanding to your student.
Speak life into the student you work with, especially on the most difficult nights! This is a gift of grace Satan does not want our students to receive.